Funny Animal Related Thoughts…

I came across a website yesterday which had some really funny animal-related things that made me laugh – I thought I’d share them with you…

How to give a cat a pill

1.   Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2.   Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa.

Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3.   Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

4.   Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl, and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws.

Ignore low growls emitted by cat.

Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth.

Drop pill down ruler and rub cat’s throat vigorously.

5.   Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap.

Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains.

Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit.

Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

6.  Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans.

Drink glass of water to take taste away.

Apply Band-Aid to spouse’s forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

Retrieve cat from neighbours shed.

Get another pill.

Place cat in cupboard & close door onto neck to leave head showing.

Force mouth open with dessert spoon.

Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

7.   Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges.

Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus jab.

Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across the road.

Apologise to neighbour who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat.

Arrange for SPCA to collect cat, and ring local pet shop to see if they have any goldfish.

How to give a dog a pill

1. Wrap it in bacon.

This is another good one…

If you can start the day without caffeine,
If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give you time,
If you can overlook when people take things out on you,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can face the world without lies and deceit,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can do all these things, ……………

Then you are probably the family dog.

This is the website I got these from:

http://www.petsplace.co.za/humour.htm

How To Ask Guests To Greet Your Dog And Avoid Jumping Up

Asking your guests to greet your dog in a certain way not only establishes them as a higher ranking member but also stops jumping up too. Watch this video to find out how this is easily achieved.

How To Greet Your Dog As A Pack Leader

How you greet your dog is crucial – it is a vital way that dogs’ communicate who are the leaders and who are a lower ranking members! Watch the video below to see how to speak your dog’s language and convince him/her that you are fit for the higher ranking position. The kindest thing you can ever do is to relieve your dog of the stressful job of being responsible for you and making all the decisions – this will put you on the right track.

Why Dogs Are Empowered When The Postman Delivers

Most dogs bark when someone comes to the front door but let’s talk specifically about the postman situation and how this empowers a dog.

The postman comes into the garden and to the front door (the den) most days and puts mail through the letterbox, some dogs see the mail as potential danger which they try to ‘kill’ and bark, growl and demonstrate threatening behaviour and the postman walks away. The dog is triumphant, his behaviour has been successful as the postman never enters the house but instead submits and walks away. Remember your dog does not rationalize, he believes his behaviour has kept potential danger away and he has protected the pack. In a dog’s mind, he has done his job extremely well and will certainly repeat that behaviour should the postman dare to return.

Dog owners can become upset and frustrated with their dog’s reaction during this time, which further confirms to the dog that there is something to worry about, enhancing the dog’s ferocious determination to keep the postman away.

Food for thought the next time the postman comes to your door!

Acidophilus – The Miracle Cure

If you have ever listened to me on the radio you will have heard me mention acidophilus. The name is not easy to remember so I very often spell it for the listeners! Acidophilus is the number one supplement that I recommend, it helps, and often cures, almost all conditions and can really be a magical supplement for so many people and dogs.

If you think I’m exaggerating just look at some of the many benefits and symptoms it works with:

• Creates a healthy digestive system.
• Stops and prevents diarrhoea.
• Yeast infections and urinary tract infections can be cured by using acidophilus supplements.
• Stops unpleasant wind and smelly stools.
• Rectifies bad breath caused by the digestive system not working effectively.
• Relieves muscular and arthritic pain.
• Prevents shedding and scratching caused by stress related to the improper functioning of the digestive system.
• Antibiotics, anti-fungals and wormers can destroy the natural bacteria required for a healthy digestive system. Acidophilus replenishes the good bacteria and any side effects caused by taking the medication disappears.
• Improves your dog’s immune system.

What is Acidophilus?

Acidophilus is known as a probiotic and is part of a group of beneficial intestinal bacteria called lactobacilli. L. acidophilus is present in the intestines at birth and is eventually joined by another well known bacterium called L. bifidus. Both are highly beneficial to the proper function of the intestine and to overall health and may be the most important bacteria of over 400 species in the digestive tract. It helps maintain a normal balance of health flora (bacteria). This ‘good’ bacteria is beneficial to both human and dog’s digestive tracts and assists in the optimal functioning of the body. It is thought to also play an important role in supporting a healthy immune system.

Dosage

If you are using a human acidophilus supplement use the recommended dose for children for smaller dogs and the adult recommendation for larger dogs. You can get acidophilus specifically for dogs which will have the dosage specified on the label.

It comes either in powder or in a capsule so it is easy to put straight onto your dogs dinner. It has no flavour so dogs are happy to eat it and rarely know that it is there.

Is Acidophilus Safe for Dogs?

Acidophilus is free of side effects as it contains all natural ingredients. You can also use live natural yoghurt instead as this contains live cultures which are beneficial for a healthy digestive tract. However, acidophilus is a great solution for dogs that are lactose intolerant and cannot be fed yogurt for correcting their troubled intestines. Please check with your vet if you have any concerns.

Where can you buy Acidophilus?

Vets often sell acidophilus which will be specifically for dogs. You can also type in google ‘acidophilus supplements for dogs’ to see a range of on-line companies that sell this product. Please do shop around as the price can differ quite considerably.

Please note – If you also suffer from any digestive disturbances taking acidophilus could seriously improve your health too. Give it a go!

How To Crate Train Your Puppy

Crate training your puppy will not only help with toilet training but will also give your puppy a safe place to call his/her own! During this video you’ll learn how to create a good association with a crate and get great results…

Recall Training

Getting a dog to come back when off the lead is a problem for many dog owners. During this video I show you the steps that need to take place first in order to achieve lasting success.